Five Things I Like About Myself as a Child
1. I draw all the time
2. I care about animals and the enviroment
3. I don’t want to get married, ever!
4. I am not afraid to ride things, jump off of things, explore scary places or touch slugs.
5. I can walk barefoot on gravel and bumblebees.
Five Childhood Accomplishments
1. I was English Student of the Year my senior year of high school
2. In fifth grade my class took a field trip to the Seattle Center. I took some pictures with a disposable camera and my teacher was so impressed with them she asked for some copies.
3. I painstakingly drew several catalogs and designed all the fashions therein and invented a bunch of different models and gave them all personalities. I wanted to be a fashion designer.
4. I used to say I was going to the library after school when really I was going to my friends’ houses or the diner across the street and I always got away with it.
5. In fourth grade I started a club called the Safari Club. The goal was to save the planet. I decided the way to do this was to hold garage sales and send all the proceeds to Greenpeace. I painstakingly drew very elaborate fliers for them. I think I sent Greenpeace $50. I got tons of pamphlets and magazines from them for my club for several years.
Wednesday, 5/17
Yesterday was another busy day at work. I learned all about rights managed images and got to color some floorplans.
After work I loafed around at home for awhile and took a nice long shower. I then went to the Hideout. Tons of people came out and it was very fun. I was in the loviest of lovey moods and wanted to smooch Erik all up. Nothing eventful happened but it was a great day all the same.
Density
Density is something I think about a lot. I work for an architecture firm so I see the word and hear it discussed constantly. I used to be pro-density, because I didn’t really understand it. It makes sense: get more people to live in the city. They’ll commute less and build support for public transportation. They’ll use and encourage the arts and culture scene. They’ll make cities vibrant and livable. Cities for everyone!
Unfortunately what I didn’t really understand, or care to consider, is that density is not driven by well-meaning people who want to make the city a better place–it’s driven by developers, and the market. Right now, the market is all about high-end, luxury condominiums and penthouses that are out of reach for everyone I know. Nobody is interested in affordable housing, because it doesn’t make money and there’s enough people out there buying high-end condos that they don’t need to. In fact, the condo boom has gotten so crazy that many apartment buildings have converted and now there’s a shortage of rental inventory, which means landlords can now jack up rents. Many cities are becoming ghettos for the wealthy, and I think Seattle is poised to as well.
It’s almost kind of funny: a lot of the marketing for these types of buildings encourage city living because it’s hip, edgy, arty, even a little risky/dangerous/sexy. But who makes it that way? Certainly not balding middle age white guys with kids in college. No, it’s the artists and young people they are pushing out with their characterless buildings and high priced furniture. It’s also kind of funny that cities went into decay for so long because of white flight, and now the opposite is happening. Funny until I have to live an hour outside of the city because I can’t afford anything else, anyway.
Tuesday, 5/16
I woke up too late to do my morning pages! So today I will do afternoon pages.
Yesterday was a fun day. Work was a little crazy. I have a lot of little projects to work on. But it keeps me busy.
After work I met some friends at the Honey Hole for dinner. A girl from Get Crafty/Glitter was in town from OC and I got to see Leslie for the first time in forever, which was very nice. I miss her. Then I left to meet Erik and his coworkers for Josh’s birthday celebration. It was very nice and low-key–just drinks at the Hideout. I like those guys. Then Erik, Todd and I went to a new bar on Capitol Hill by the Top Pot called Sun Liquor. It is okay. Then we went to the Summit Pub, then Erik and I drunkenly stumbled back to my place (luckily only a few blocks away). For some reason we decided to take a bath. It was 1 in the morning! Actually Erik decided it. Very silly. Then we passed out. I am very sleepy today.
Bills
I need to find a new bill-paying system. My system does not work. I use the first paycheck of the month to pay all my bills, and the second paycheck to pay my rent for the following month. The problem is that my rent takes up over half my paycheck, so I feel really broke during those two weeks. I don’t have a lot of other expenses so during the other two weeks I feel pretty flush and I go a little crazy with spending. It’s a constant up down up down cycle and I am tired of it. I don’t have a very good idea of how much money I actually have. I don’t make that much but it’s enough to get by and I don’t think I should be feeling broke as soon as I get paid, if I’m smarter about it.
Oh, and then I get paid 26 times a year so everyone once in a while I get a third paycheck a month and I never know what to do with those–except blow them! But they should be part of my regular income. I mean, they ARE part of my regular income.
Here is my new idea: Rent is really the bill that gets me since it is the biggest. So I took my monthly rent, multiplied it by 12 and divided that number by 26. I got $300. Then I set up my account so that $323 is withdrawn from my checking account and put into my savings account every two weeks, the day after payday. That gives me enough for rent, plus about $50 extra a month. Then I set it up so $650 is transferred back into my account on the 5th, when rent is due. Then I will attempt to pay all my other bills as they come in. I hope this system works a little better and helps to even out the amount of money I have to spend during the month. I’m also considering having all my bill money transferred to my savings account and then setting up automatic electronic bill paying from that account. For some reason I don’t like electronic bill paying though.
I am pretty pleased with my fiances overall though. My only regular bills are rent, electricity, cell phone, student loan, gym and the occasional credit card bill (I’ve paid it off but there’s sometimes a misc. charge, like when I tried to buy my mom flowers online and they wouldn’t take my debit card). I don’t have a car so I don’t have a car payment or insurance or gas. I walk to work so I don’t buy a bus pass either. I don’t have cable and I don’t pay for internet access. My life is pretty simple.
Like I said, I probably shouldn’t feel as poor as I do, and I’m hoping this new system will help somewhat. I also probably should spend so much money on eating out and drinking, but what are you going to do?
Monday, 5/15
Yesterday was uneventful. It was a slightly unproductive day at work–waiting around for people to get back to me. I learned all about the messy world of rights-managed images. I felt really sick and cranky and just wanted to go home. Then I went to my writing group and we drank a lot of wine and chatted. Then I came home and listened to LoveLine and tried to sleep.
Even though it is boring.
Another thing I want to do is review the previous day every morning.
Yesterday I slept in with Erik. His apartment was really hot so we didn’t stay in bed for too long. I love laying around in the mornings with him! It’s the best. We went out to the market and got a few cheese samples at the cheese festival and then got coffee at the Nordstrom Espresso Bar. I had seen that seersucker suits were on sale at J. Crew so we went to check them out. They had his size but the pants looked weird–kind of like jammies. He ended up just buying the jacket. It looked great on him. The sales clerk was really adorable but I bet he is 19 and gay. Then we dillydallyed around for a bit in the bookstore and finally parted ways. On my way home I got a tofu sandwich at Baguette Box.
At home I messed around on the internet some and then finally took a shower and got dressed. I intended to go to the park, check on the baby ducks in the reflecting pond and then sit and work on some things for my writing group, but it was windy at the park so I got too chilled when I was working.
Then I went to the Red Light and tried on some dresses. They had the perfect Maggie the Cat dress on the rack but I could only just get it zipped–I couldn’t imagine wearing it to a party. That and it had stains all over it. Still searching for my Maggie the Cat dress. Maybe I should manifest intent it.
Then I went to the grocery store and came home and cleaned up a bit, altered this thrift store dress that didn’t fit well and shortened the hem to a more flattering length, wrote my poetry group exercise, talked to Erik on the phone, read a bit and made hummus and tuna salad for lunch.
That was Sunday.
Affirmations, goals, and things to think about.
These are the things I want to think about every day.
Affirmations:
I am a gifted and prolific writer.
Goals (manifest intentions):
In a perfectly happy and healthy way, I am losing ten pounds.
For the good of all mankind, E and I are having an amazing and creatively productive relationship.
With perfect timing, I am working at a job I love.
Things to think about (possible future essay subjects):
Bill paying systems
Urban density
The process of obtaining the morning after pill in my city
This blog
When I was in college I took a class called something like, “How to be a Public Intellectual.” It had a better title but that’s the gist. The class essentially examined and dissected New Yorker/Malcolm Gladwell style essays and attemped to recreate our own. Once I found an entire article (I believe it was in the New Yorker) about the ice ice industry. Ice! But it was fascinating. Now, with blogs, we can all be public intellectuals without having to depend on the New Yorker to publish us.
I am working through The Artists Way, a program to develop creativity. One of the components is writing “morning pages” every day. My morning pages usually devolve into a scribbled angry mess of self-hatred and doubt. It’s starting to make me feel very awful and made me consider quitting the program.
Instead, I decided to start a new, semi-secret blog. I doubt anyone will read this but I will keep it public in an effort to prevent myself from falling into the trap of self-hatred scrawling. Instead my morning pages will be more of my thoughts as a public intellectual. I hope.
If you happen to read this and you have a copy of that ice article, I’d love to read it.
